“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
I just needed to write this to get it off my chest.
Today while checking facebook, one of my cousins posted that really annoying “25 things about me”. She tagged me, so I read it. I’m reading and reading and reading and I get to #25. “I believe a woman can do everything except for 2 things, lead a family and pastor a church.” I am so disgusted by this. She more than anyone should know that a woman can lead a family. She grew up with a sick father her entire life and her mom lead them through everything. She was the backbone of that entire family. That is such a huge slap-in-the-face to her. And if she is saying that, she has obviously not met a woman pastor. One of my mom’s best friends is a pastor and is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She is full of spirit and grace that I hope I can have one day. And can lead a church like no other.
It is so frustrating to know people have that kind of mindset. It sickens me. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I can’t help but get so mad at this.